Friday, July 1, 2011

All-Star Batman and Robin #7 Review


I have something really ridiculous today. But first we have to talk about Frank Miller. Frank Miller is a comic book writer that is best known for the Dark Knight Returns, Batman: Year One, 300, and Sin City. I can't really speak for his other works but I have read most of his Batman books. In 2005 Frank teamed up with Jim Lee in order to write a mini-series under DC's All-Star imprint. As of right now it still has not finished it's 16 issue run even thought it has been 6 years. Only 10 issues were released leaving 6 more to go.

This comic is supposed to take place between Batman: Year One and The Dark Knight Returns, So let's see if this comic is as good as those two. The cover is of Batman and Black Canary beating up some criminals, while not the worst cover ever it's still not that good. Neither of them look like there fighting anyone, they just look like there posing. At least it's better then Frank Miller's variant cover, where it looks like a caveman stole Batman's costume.

The Comic starts with Batman laughing like a maniac, while narrating "Striking TERROR. Best part of the JOB." while attacking a bunch of criminals, who are apparently selling bleach for some reason. Batman then takes one of the bottles and uses a flare to catch it on fire. Throwing it at the criminals, catching several of them as well as the dock itself on fire. This is impossible since I'm pretty sure bleach is not flammable and even if it was it would not make an explosion so big it catches several people as well as a dock on fire.

The criminals start to scream that it hurts, but Batman then tells them they don't know what "hurt" means. So he shows them the true meaning of pain by punching one of them in the face. I'm no expert but I think a punch to the face would hurt less then being SET ON FIRE! As he beats up the rest of the criminals we zoom out to Black Canary who was watching the whole time, and guess what she's narrating too, about how much she loves the "Goddamn Batman." Green Arrow is going to be really pissed about this when he finds out. Black Canary tells Batman he's hot and they apparently have sex, while the criminals are burning to death in the background.
Classy DC...

I mean the dock is obviously on fire and last time we saw the criminals they were all on fire. So Batman pretty much just murdered a bunch of people then had Sex within spitting distance of there still burning corpses. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU FRANK! Plus you would think that someone would of called the fire department due to the huge cloud of smoke rising from the docks. But anyway, Batman offers to drive Black Canary home while making fun of Superman for some reason. On the way back Black Canary tells Batman he should talk to someone, someone he's not punching in the face.

Batman just tells her to shut up, and starts to narrate again "She's got a right to say whatever she WANTS. She's got a RIGHT to say whatever she WANTS. She's got the RIGHT. THOMAS JEFFFERSON and all that." So if it's not already apparent Batman in this comic is completely insane, and no that's not a typo they really spelled Thomas Jefferson with three F's. Batman continues to tell us that he's not insane by narrating some more "She's dead RIGHT to say I'm half-CRAZY. But only half. The OTHER half is doing JUST FINE." Nope your completely nuts. Speaking of we go to Dick Grayson who Batman just kidnapped and trapped in the batcave with no food. Dick thinks he's going crazy because he chopped a Rat in half with an Battle Axe since it was hissing at him. But he seems fine I mean it's not like he's going to go crazy, and try to kill Batman in the future that would be silly.
From Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again. Which is also bad.

Oh yeah. But can you really blame him. Batman comes into the Batcave with a man tied up, he causally tells Dick "I've brought the man who MURDERED your PARENTS..." and that the man's fate is in is hands, is he going to be "An AVENGER--or a DETECTIVE". If I were Dick I would go with the Avengers because while they have problems I don't think they ever kidnapped a twelve year old. Anyway Dick starts to beat up his parents killer while Batman watches, and guess what. He's still narrating! "I had to find a clear VIEW. I don't want to miss a BIT of this" Dick get's the man to tell him who hired him to kill Dick's parents. Batman narrates on last time, "I don't like his ANSWER. Not one BIT." The comic ends with a playing card with the Joker's face on it.

If it isn't obvious this comic isn't good. The characters don't act like there suppose to, and the dialogue is repetitive. However Jim Lee's art is pretty good, and the comic is fun in a "So bad it's good kinda way." Overall I wouldn't recommend it but if your in the mood for some good laughs I'd check this out. But remember that your more laughing at it then with it.

Rating: 1/5

Next week I'm going to review a good Batman comic.

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